Creating a Better Life

One of my struggles in life has been that of perfectionism. I’m the kind of guy who thinks that if something doesn’t match up to my idea of perfection, it’s worthless. And since nothing, including my own self, can match up to my idea of perfection, everything, including myself, becomes worthless.

But life isn’t like that. My limited rational mind simply cannot always see that what I think of as not perfect is simply still growing, and is in the exact stage it needs to be in so that it can mature into what it is becoming.

We often think of babies as being perfect. Innocent, unblemished. But they are also obnoxious, dirty, selfish, helpless, stupid, and pretty useless on their own.

But we see their potential. So we nurture and care for them, knowing that one day they will (hopefully) become human beings who are a little less obnoxious, a little cleaner, more self sufficient, and able to contribute to their fellow human beings.

These past few weeks have been a real struggle for me emotionally, and on the inside it feels like it’s actually been getting worse. I’ve felt like I’m moving further away from my idea of perfection than closer to it.

I’ve been that baby lately, especially over the past couple of days (just ask my wife!). And I’ve been through this before. The difference is that usually by now I would have succumbed to the struggle, gotten drunk and/or attempted suicide, or simply given in to the depression and stopped doing anything worthwhile.

But I haven’t. I’m seeing that these are just growing pains, and that they are my old self dying off in order to make way for my new self. Which is something that actually happens every moment of every day of our lives

So today, rather than fearing the struggles that I’ve been going though, I’m going to welcome them. And I’m going to accept myself as being exactly as I’m supposed to be in this moment, and growing a little bit more into whatever it is that the Universe has planned for me.

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