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  • Self Doubt

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    Posted on August 7th, 2006Lyman ReedUncategorized

    One of my biggest struggles while working on this blog is the old demon of not being good enough.

    Whenever I start to write a personal post from my own experience, the old self doubt creeps in, and although I may have experience in an area, and have conquered a particular demon in my life, the gremlins are always there to chip away at the machinery of my mind.

    “But what about this, Lyman? You still do that, so you must not really be good enough.”

    “But what about that, Lyman? You never stuck with that plan, and now you’re going to write about another one you’ve come up with? HA!”

    So I sit, and stare, and surf… instead of just writing, which is what I want to do in the first place.

    I’m the first to admit, and I’ve written this many times before:

    I’m not Tony Robbins. I’m Lyman.

    I’m not Brian Tracy. I’m Lyman.

    I’m not Mahatma Gandhi. I’m Lyman.

    I’m not Jesus Christ. I’m Lyman.

    Even as I write the above… “You shouldn’t write that. You’ve written that before, gotten all pumped up on the just be Lyman thing, and then fizzled out.”

    My AA sponsor constantly drills it into my head.

    I just have to do today.

    And today, I choose to write this. It doesn’t matter what I wrote yesterday. It doesn’t matter what I write tomorrow.

    It matters what I write today.

    Correction: it doesn’t matter what I write today.

    If I want to write, it only matters that I write today.

    And holy crap, I actually just wrote something… I didn’t just copy and paste a blog carnival.

    Which felt great!

    The gremlins can just bite me…

    They like to do that anyway.

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6 Responses to “Self Doubt”

  1. You just wrote an interesting post. It’s good to know that someone else wonders if what they are writing is worth it. It is worth it!

  2. Thank you, Anji. I appreciate the encouragement. :)

  3. Keep writing… ignore the gremlin. The battle is won when you ignore doubt and fear and do it anyway. It doesn’t have to be Tony Robbins level, just keep it positive and remember to “fail” to mention the struggle and self doubt. Soon it will be second nature to write free and positive.
    Live Boldly,
    JT Chandler

  4. Thank you, JT. “‘Fail’ to mention the struggle and self doubt.” I like that. I can’t deny that it’s there, but do I really need to mention it in every frickin’ post? :)

  5. The gremlins and mice nibble and nibble, but they can’t eat the whole thing. They live in all our houses. We work at controlling them.

    I don’t know who Tony Robbins is other than he’s supposed to be some personal development guru who charges a lot of money for seminars. That tells me where his head is at. Be yourself. Be honest. Don’t beat yourself or your readers over the head with “the struggle and self-doubt”; don’t dwell on them, but as long as they’re there acknowledge them. They’re gremlins that can be controlled. Keep writing.

  6. Thanks, Rick…

    Acknowledgement, but not focus. And they can be controlled. If I choose to do the controlling.

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