Acceptance, Willingness, and Action
Lyman Reed
November 3rd, 2006
Uncategorized
A couple of the points in this article by Christine Kane really got me thinking about my own basic approach to personal development.
Many of us are attracted to self help, personal development, personal growth, etc., because we see in ourselves something that is lacking, something that is wrong, something that needs to be fixed. We see the “successes” in the world, and say “Hey, I can do that!” or “Hey, I want that!” but it doesn’t come naturally. We aren’t able to kick that addiction immediately, or build that billion dollar business in a week, or drop those 50 pounds in two. So we decide that there is something wrong with us, and we run from guru to guru, desperately seeking what we believe is a missing piece of ourselves.
Then we keep on getting the results that we’ve always gotten. OK, maybe this guru or program will help, that other one was good but must’ve been missing something.
Doh! It wasn’t that one. Well, maybe this one… well, that was a waste of $97 bucks… OK, this one has got to be it!
Nope… wrong again.
“Damn,” we think to ourselves. “I must be really defective…” which just adds to our downward spiral of negative thinking and feeling.
Add to this the fact that we have accepted that we are 100% responsible for everything that happens in our lives, and have no one left to blame… well, might as well just off ourselves.
I used to attend AA meetings on a regular basis, and one of the things that I was taught there was personal responsibility for my own emotions. The interesting thing was that, at least on an intellectual basis, I already knew this. I loved to parrot the quote from Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions: “It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us.”
And yet, I’d stay disturbed.
There’s another, less often quoted line from the same book: “We learned that if we were seriously disturbed, our first need was to quiet that disturbance, regardless of who or what we thought caused it.”
Sounds a lot like the Abraham-Hicks idea of finding something to be happy about.
There are tons of techniques out there on how to do that. It’s so easy, though, to look at where we are, then look at where we want to be, and find ourselves coming up short.
But maybe we don’t have to “come up short”. Maybe it’s as simple as acceptance of who and what we are right now, and a willingness to take action toward where we want to be. Life, and everything in it, takes practice.
So it’s enough, for today, to stay pointed in the direction of my dreams, and pray by moving my feet.
| 3.2 |
Lyman,
You’re right. Accepting where you are is key to getting to where you want to go. Somebody once told me this analogy:
If you are in LA and want to get to New York, you can say… Man! New York is too far, I wish I was in Chicago and then I’d already be half-way to New York. Then you can whine and complain about not being in Chicago and talk about how much you hate being in LA. Or you could just deny you’re in LA and pretend you’re in Chicago and take off for New York, but you’ll end up someplace completely different because you didn’t accept where you really started. So if you really want to get to New York, tell yourself – “I’m in LA and that’s OK, but I intend to get to New York.†Then by a map and plan a route to New York and keep going until you get there… and you’ll get there.
That’s a great analogy, Steve! Thanks for sharing it.
Another one I’ve heard that is somewhat related is if we know what a problem is, but we don’t want to tell anyone because we are embarrased, ashamed, etc… It’s like going to a doctor suffering from a horrible migrane, and then when the doctor asks what is wrong, you say that your toe hurts. You can go through every test and treatment known to mankind for hurting toes, but it’s not going to help that migrane.
Thanks for the comment!