Creating a Better Life

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Ever since part two of the Larry King Live “The Power of Positive Thinking” show, I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of total responsibility for everything that happens in my life (as explained by a few of the guests). After watching the episode, I hit up Joe Vitale’s Podcast blog and downloaded an interview with him regarding ho’oponopono, the Hawaiian healing method. It’s an interesting audio, but if you aren’t familiar with Dr. Len and ho’oponopono, you may want to start off with this article: The World’s Most Unusual Therapist.

It was probably in AA that I was first introduced to the idea of focusing on “cleaning up my side of the street” through the amends process. But the earliest I remember learning about 100% responsibility for everything that comes into my experience was probably in Louise Hay’s book You Can Heal Your Life (aff).

Intellectually, I take to this stuff like a fish to water. It gives one a real sense of control in life, and hope that if I can just dig deep enough, I’ll find these things that keep getting in my way.

But I also enjoy this idea for another, darker reason.

I just LOVE to beat the shit out of myself. Mentally and emotionally, there is nothing that Lyman loves to do more than tell himself that he isn’t worth living.

Now, when I say that I love to do this, I mean love in the way that an abused woman keeps returning to the husband or boyfriend that kicks the crap out of her on a regular basis. It hurts, it sucks, I want it to stop… yet I keep on going back to it.

Because it’s comfortable. And there is something in my programming that keeps returning me to that (although it has gotten unbelievably better over the past couple of years).

So, hell yeah, it’s all my fault! In the past, I would just feel guilty for the things I had actually done, like empty out my mother’s checking account on a binge, or cheat on my wife while she was in the hospital having an angiogram (see, told ya I was a real piece of crap).

And now, I get to use the idea that just by thinking about it, I’m responsible for everything from the war in Iraq to the dryer at the laundromat breaking down the other night while my clothes were in it. Woo Hoo!

If I’m going to accept that I truly am responsible for all of this stuff happening, then there are two ways I can go here:

1.) Continue as I have, and use this idea as a reason to give up. See, look at everything I’ve fucked up… why would I think it will be any different in the future?

or

2.) Accept what I’ve already created, and work my ass off on creating better things in the future.

One of the reasons I like James Ray (one of Larry King’s guests) is that he stresses the importance of action in creating our lives the way we want them. If there is something I can physically DO about something, it isn’t enough to look at it and recite a mantra. There are way too many times that I’ve fallen into the trap of “just believe hard enough and it will all work out.”

Probably one of my favorite examples of this is in the Simpleology 101 (aff) course’s very first exercise, which asks the participant to try different methods of moving water from a glass into his mouth. It’s a pretty entertaining process… I don’t want to ruin it for you, so you’ll just have to sign up to see it (the 101 course really is free and complete, although you will be upsold in the process of registering.)

But I also know this - if there really isn’t anything that I can physically do about whatever is going on, I can always focus on retraining my own mind… and “I Love You, I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Thank You” (the language of ho’oponopono) seems like a great way to work on this as I go through my daily life.

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addiction, audio, change, ideas, recovery, Simpleology