I just read an excellent article on Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul titled Celebrating YOU: The Leading Lady of Your Show which really got me thinking. In it, Hueina reminds us that our own self care has to take priority in our lives. It really struck a chord with me, since being a double PK (preacher’s kid) actually taught me, whether it was through my own parents beliefs or the beliefs that I was exposed to through my own forays into Christian Fundamentalism and a literal interpretation of the Bible (which my parents were not a part of), that I should always place myself last in line, sacrifice myself for others, and always always always put others needs before my own.
Then I became a selfish pig of an alcoholic and addict. Was I rebelling? Was I just moving further into the idea that I needed to destroy myself, get out of the way so that the world would be a better place?
Who knows why… that’s a question for the therapists. It is worth exploring, but only to the extent that it will help me to live my life today.
In Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude, Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone spend the first chapter introducing us to The Most Important Person in the World. I’ll give you one guess as to who it is.
Yup… it’s YOU. No, wait, it’s ME. No, wait…
The most important person in your world is you. The most important person in my world is me.
There’s also a great discussion going on over at David Maister’s blog about Ayn Rand, who said that:
“My philosophy, in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute.” [source: The Ayn Rand Institute]
I also became quite the Randian for a while, and took her philosophy of self interest to heart. But I think that it bumped up against my past beliefs of self immolation so hard, and that those previous beliefs were so deeply ingrained, that they ultimately won.
After all of this, the one thing that I know today is that if I’m going to live happily and productivly in this world, I must take care of myself first. Because if I can’t do that, I’m completely useless to others.
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Lyman, you make an interesting connection between addiction/self-destruction and the polar-opposite concept that we are each the center of our own Universe. Realizing our individual importance in the world is probably our best defense. If we regard ourselves with importance as a birthright, we naturally will treat ourselves well.
Carolyn
Hi Carolyn,
I guess when I think of my own importance, I often wonder just how far that importance extends. One of the things that I really liked about Rand was the recognition that my own importance never trumps yours… in other words, I can’t take from you simply because I’m important. My own problem is, though, that when a decision has to be made about degrees, and who’s rights do win in a conflict, I’m much to quick to give in.
Thanks for the comment… it’s great to have you back.
Well, Lyman, to my way of thinking, Rand is right. We are, all of us, equally important and no one can steal another’s thunder. For you to be the first to give in might be the most comfortable position for you, at least for now. If it works, go with it.
Thanks, it’s great to be back.
Carolyn
Sorry about that!
But I’m still learning that to “love your neighbor as yourself” requires first loving your self. It’s hard because you walk a fine line between arrogance and selflessness (in the worstsense of the word). Hang in there. YOU are worthtaking care of.
Love, Mom!
Nothing to be sorry for, Mom. I love you.
everybody are the most important person in the world,
because for example without milkman how can we get milk?
without postman how can we get the posts?
so i proside that everybody are
THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WORLD!
by
rosni
Very true, Rosni… thanks for your input and comment!
I enjoyed reading the input here. I am working on a workshop on the this subject. If anyone knows where I can obtain more information on ” you are the most important person in the world” please let me know. Thank you
Thanks for stopping by, Grace! There really are some great comments here… I haven’t been back to this page in quite a while.
If you’d like to share more about your seminar, feel free to. It sounds like something that the readers of this blog would be interested in.
And if anyone has any resources to point Grace to, feel free as well.