The Spiritual Atheist

I often wonder how to describe myself when it comes to religion. I’ve been pretty much everything from an atheist to an Evangelical Christian, with explorations into Buddhism, Satanism, Religious Science (the last group I actually joined), and a few others.

The best that I can come up with to describe myself is that I’m a spiritual atheist.

Atheist

I don’t believe in a single omnipotent, omniscient being who sometimes feels like controlling things and sometimes just leaves them to his rival. There is no objective evidence for either. For a long time I wouldn’t go beyond “agnostic”, which is commonly defined as a person who isn’t sure about the existence of God. Of course, I also can’t be 100% positive that there isn’t a Flying Spaghetti Monster out there, but I’m pretty sure there isn’t.

Spiritual

I remember a handout that I picked up from an outpatient rehab I was in (a couple of times) that had an explanation I could accept (of course, I have no idea where it is now, but I’ll try to remember to post the proper kudos when/if it turns up). The essay said that originally, the word spiritual had nothing to do with God or gods. It’s root word, “spirit”, comes from the Latin for “breath” (spiritus). It has more to do with that which gives life than worship.

That which gives life… that’s what I want!

That which gives life can encompass a whole bunch of things… from the breath I take, to my beating heart, to the neurons firing in my brain. It can be an encouraging word from a friend, a book that I read that changes my life’s direction, or two of my ancestors from a thousand years ago having sex, which resulted in me.

Practicing Spirituality

So what would it mean to practice spirituality, or to live a spiritual way of life?

If I follow the above definition, it would be to live in a way that adds more life, and doesn’t take away from it. It can involve working with the unseen, but it doesn’t have to. I can’t see my breath, but I sure as hell knows when it stops. I never heard my ancestors doing the deed, but they must have, or I wouldn’t be here now.

So even as an atheist, I accept the unseen. I try do those things which others, whether they are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Satanists, Wiccans, Religious Scientists, or whatever, have said gives them life.

And I discard that which I can’t or won’t accept.

I must admit that too often I throw out the baby with the bathwater. I’ve stop going to AA because of all the Christian-centric God talk. Even when I was a hardcore fundie, I couldn’t find a church because even the most biblically literal of them just didn’t meet my standards of holiness. (Of course, after rejecting them I’d spend hours racking up thousands of dollars in phone sex charges that someone else would have to pay for… but that’s another blog post.)

I’m only now beginning to be comfortable with the fact that I don’t have to “officially” belong to any group, sect, religion, or cult. If my beliefs serve me, I’ll hold onto them. If they don’t, I can always drop them and find new ones that do. I think that’s why Religious Science is still my favorite western organized religion, and Buddhism my favorite from the east. Each is very open, but I still can’t claim them as my own.

Using the Unseen

In The Art of Happiness, the Dalai Lama talks about a discussion he had with scientists on thoughts and brain chemicals. (Once again, I don’t know where the book is, so I’m working from memory here…) It’s a pretty well accepted fact in the scientific community that the chemicals and activity in our brains are what cause our thoughts and emotions. The Dalai Lama asked the question: Isn’t it possible that the thoughts are there first? That they come from somewhere else, and that the thoughts cause the chemical reactions? The scientists he was talking to wouldn’t accept that as a possibility.

The search for spirituality involves a whole lot of “What If” thinking. This can and has allowed charlatans and “false prophets” to rise and become accepted by thousands. But if we lose our “what if”, we would have lost the wheel, the airplane, electric light, E equals MC squared… and a whole lot of great science fiction!

Think of how a person from just a few hundred years ago would react if you showed him a self contained box with the numbers 0-9 on it, along with some other symbols, and told him that this box allowed you to communicate with anyone who had a similar box, as long as you knew the code, the series of numbers to press, that would contact their box.

WITCH! Burn Him!

But now cell phones have become an almost indispensable part of my own culture. How about a horseless carriage? How about a worldwide network of machines that talk to each other? Think about all of the radio waves passing through your body right now; they contain so much information it’s mind boggling.

For me, the practice of spirituality is like the cell phone. It’s trying to find that combination of numbers that will connect me to whatever it is that’s out there that will give me more of the breath of life.

If it’s True, Shouldn’t it Work for Everyone?

One of the things that I find distasteful (and often dangerous) about some religions and groups is their claim on having the one true way. If their program doesn’t make your life better, if you can’t accept some of their beliefs, at best you are ostracized, at worst, killed. It becomes more about the beliefs and maintaining the structure than about the lives of the followers.

I’ve spent a long time looking for that one final answer… and if it is out there, I haven’t found it yet. Some may say that it’s because I haven’t really committed, if it works for them then it should work for me.

Not necessarily.

While two healthy human brains operate within certain parameters and along the same lines, there are enough differences, for any number of reasons, that will cause one person’s thoughts, emotions, perceptions, and beliefs to be different from another’s. Which means that with the same outward form, different results will be achieved.

When I hear the word God, I think one thing, you think something else.

If I may use the cell phone analogy again: my Samsung phone, while operating on the same basic principles, simply does not have the capabilities of your iPhone. Of course, as humans, we can change, we can grow, while a cell phone cannot. But it does no better to criticize a person, even yourself, for not “getting with the program” or “having enough faith” than it does to yell at my Samsung for not being able to play MP3s. It can’t, as it is.

And that’s what’s so cool about being human. We have the power and the ability to change, either on our own or, if necessary, by finding the help out there to teach us how.

If we want to.