EFT, The Law of Attraction, and Alcoholics Anonymous

“This isn’t about denial. This is about choosing your focus.” - Your Vibration Always Comes First by Carol Look

I love it when various aspects of personal development that I’ve studied come together into a cohesive whole. Much like the little discussion that we had going on in the We Are All One Elephant article, various disciplines usually have more in common than it seems on the surface.

One of the reasons that it jazzes me so much when I see these connections is because I spent so long trying to figure out just who was “right”. When I considered myself a Christian, everything those Muslims said just had to be wrong. If I’m a member of A.A., then don’t even talk to me about SMART Recovery. If I’ve got on my atheist hat, don’t you DARE even try mentioning God to me. (If you care, I still consider myself a “Spiritual Atheist.”)

Living that way, while safe and comfortable in the little box that I’d made for myself, really did some damage to my own personal growth. It wasn’t necessarily that I thought I was right and everyone else was wrong - it was usually the result of my listening to some guru that I decided was smarter and more connected that I was.

I wasn’t following my own inner guidance.

One of the connections I’ve been making lately is just how many traditions and disciplines talk about the necessity of taking care of ourselves first.

I especially think of Alcoholics Anonymous when it comes to helping ourselves before we can help others.

The main theory behind the behavoir of an alcoholic that is proposed by the “Big Book” is that alcoholics are extremely selfish people. Not a stretch, I know…

“Selfishness - self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. …

“So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so.”

Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition, pg. 62

Law of Attraction, anyone? It may not be Radical Responsibility, but it’s a strong statement of recognition that I am the #1 cause what happens in my life.

But how does that relate to taking care of ourselves first?

Let’s look at another book published by A.A.:

“But in A.A. we slowly learned that something had to be done about our vengeful resentments, self-pity, and unwarranted pride… We learned that if we were seriously disturbed, our first need was to quiet that disturbance, regardless of who or what we thought caused it.” — Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pg. 47.

Our first need is to quiet the disturbance, regardless of who or what we thought caused it.

Not hide it, plastering a smile on our face and repeating affirmations that all is well.

Not act out on it, throwing temper tantrums and causing distress to those around us.

Quiet the disturbance, regardless of who or what we thought caused it.

That’s where EFT comes in. With it, we don’t deny the problem… we actually focus on it, with the intent to quiet the the disturbance within ourselves - we aren’t trying to change or control anyone else.

In the article that I quoted earlier, Carol Look uses the word “vibration” to describe our emotional state. That may be a little new-agey or woo-woo for some people. I’d encourage you to try it anyway, and call it whatever you want. The words do not matter - it’s the concepts behind them that hold all the weight.

EFT doesn’t ask that you believe anything. It just asks that you try it consistently, and judge the results for yourself.

Whether you “believe in” the Law of Attraction or not really doesn’t matter either. Believers say that you’re always experiencing it anyway. Non-believers will always find another reason, even if that reason is “stuff happens.” I happen to fall in with the believers camp - but I really don’t care if you do or not.

Just accept responsiblity for your own life, to whatever degree you feel you can. You don’t have to start with Radical Responsibility, but you can begin to watch your own thoughts and your own life, and see how the two are connected.

Because they are.

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