Comments on: Unmanageability: Hacking the 12-Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous

By: frank c

frank c — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 04:47:49 +0000

The unmanageability in Step One refers to the ability to manage the decision to not take a drink. A alcoholic cannot manage this decision, and will eventually return to alcohol. The Baffleing feature, no matter how great the necessity or wish, cannot manage this decision (while sober) (bbpg34)… also pg 44, if when you honestly want to you find you cannot quit entirely (manage this decision..ie..pg 24), or if when drinking you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic.

The UNMANAGEABILITY most people talk about is the unmanageability in the 3rd step. The original Beginners meetings used pg 47 as the real 2nd step… and afterwards, they start talking about the unmageability of the 3rd step, convincing you that your life living on self-will cannot be a success…. pg 51, leaving aside the drink question… pg 52.. the bedevilments… all the unmanageability of the HUMAN PROBLEMS which ties to step 3….

This is why in the 3rd Step in the 12 & 12, it points out that although we have stopped drinking, our lives are still unmanageable.

The real unmanagebility in Step one…. simple is asking can you manage the choice of whether you drink or not… a choice a non-alcoholic can manage with ease… pg 34 BB again… whether a person can quit on a non-spiritual basis, depends on the extent they have already lost the power of choice.. (which ties to 24 again..)…

I hope this challenges what you have been told, because it is how our AA literature lays it out.

Contempt prior to investigation means there might be something for me to look at in my personal beliefs…

With love and gratitude
Frank C.

Excuse my mis-spellings..

By: Lyman Reed

Lyman Reed — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 21:35:23 +0000

Thanks for the quote, Frank – I seem to have missed your comment. And yes… there’s no quicker way to misery than in trying to control others.

By: Lyman Reed

Lyman Reed — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 21:33:11 +0000

Excellent point, Joseph… “only” managing well, while it’s an important part of life, is just a part of it. Thanks for bringing that out.

Of course, I don’t think of “managing” as always getting my ego’s way in every situation – I’ve learned that I can be quite happy without that.

Thanks again for your comment.

By: Joseph

Joseph — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 18:54:17 +0000

Lyman Reed misses the salient point of the profound quote he includes from the Big Book. All of the other responses give me tremendous hope and really prove that true recovery exists and can be transmitted. Picking apart the quote, the most important qualifier in the sentence is the word “only”. I thought that the ONLY way to feel that life was tolerable was by getting my way or by having a positive outcome in my endeavors. I mixed up “making a living” with actually living. Hell. Thank you guys for your discerning comments.

By: frank quinlan

frank quinlan — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 09:07:32 +0000

I believe that the unmanageability Bill W refers to in the first step of AA comes from the prayer which was popular at the time of writing ….’Lord manage my life because i cant manage mine’.Shoemaker, the Reverend ,refers to this too .If it wasnt for this connection one would be forgiven for thinking “manageing well wasnt a worthwhile goal ,according to the quote ,but letting God do the manageing ,as in His will not mine ,surely connects us with the right motives.The quote is more to do with selfish motives in getting ones own way all the time .I for one can connect the misery that ensued with a lifelong effort to manage /control my fellow man .

By: Nneka

Nneka — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:41:01 +0000

Hi Lyman, it might just be a matter of syntax. I believe it’s true that we cannot “wrest satisfaction and happiness out of the world if only he manages well” (meaning organize). In fact, this manageability/organization only led me to be more exacting and perfect reaching. The more I tried, and my life appeared as though I was great at it, the harder it got and more unmanageable it was internally.

This is an excellent discussion of the 12 Steps that you have going.

I needed to surrender. On paper and in pixels, the word looks like I’m giving up, but that was not it at all. In surrendering/letting go/allowing, I am able to do what is mine to do and step out of God’s way.

In Spirit,
Nneka

By: Lyman Reed

Lyman Reed — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 00:24:30 +0000

Once again, thank you, Ellie. That’s the beautiful thing about this… it’s all about what’s going on inside, not on the outside. And you are right – no matter what “system” a person uses, it can’t help if our core is a mess.

And it’s great to know that manageability and organization aren’t always the same thing!

By: Ellie Walsh - Living the Law of Attraction

Ellie Walsh - Living the Law of Attraction — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 04:20:40 +0000

24 years ago my life did not look “unmanageable” — I looked good, I smelt good, I had the job, the lover, I even had the house and fence — except the house was not mine we rented the basement apartment and got to use the yard!

I’m looking around my office as I write this – and I promise you my life looks much more “unmanageable” now!

But 24 years ago – the outsides of me looked good and the insides of me were a mess and “unmanageable”!

For me finding that “manageability” was not about using systems – it was about my thoughts – it was about making friends with myself.

It was about realizing that other people, places and things did not affect my life – unless I allowed that. It was about understanding that my own thoughts and beliefs created this life I was living.

As I found my own voice, not the one in my head – I found my power and I found my manageability….