Sometimes relationships do not give more and you have to separate. When we are young, we still live in the house of our parents and we have no responsibility is easy, but when you’re married with children, the situation can become tense. We are not saying it’s better to shut up and put up, but knowing the consequences of divorce on children and how we can help.
Consequences of divorce on your children
During the divorce of parents, children suffer stress, especially because even know and understand what it means divorce, often are not made to the idea about life in the near future. Family changes such as lack of contact with one parent, moving home or school, and even an increase in his responsibilities as the father guardian may be less time at home, can create stress and anxiety.
Often also find comfort in the situation, especially if they are very small, and may be delayed at least two years to adapt. Some can even drag problems into adulthood. The preschoolers can appear confused, and generally tend to blame themselves for the divorce, so try to join their parents again.
Between 6 and 8 years still fantasize that their parents will get back together but are less likely to blame themselves, but do experience grief. Between 9 and 12 is the time when they feel more prepared and better assume things, show their disapproval and take sides with one parent.
The teenager, meanwhile, has to take divorce while their physical growth and development of his personality. In general, divorce on children tends to increase its dependence, whereas in adolescents accelerates its independence.
Children react differently than girls. They are anxious and withdrawn; them aggressive and disobedient. The children of divorced parents often have relationships sooner, while children adjust better if their mothers remarry. Moreover, it is the same a peaceful divorce one filled with fights. They also tend to feel better if regular visits are agreed and, where quality is more important than quantity.
Other negative effects of divorce on children are children of divorced parents are smokers then, is more widely used Ritalin, a drug used to treat attention deficit-hyperactivity, difficulties in developing math and social skills, are more susceptible to illness, more likely to leave school, propensity to crime, increased risk of stroke or early death, and ultimately more likely to divorce in the future.
How to help your child cope with divorce
To help our child overcome and adapt to divorce, we discuss the divorce with children, be available to them and learn about how to deal with divorce by age, assure the child that is not their fault and that both parents still love.
It is also important to put forward their needs, not argue in front of him and not wanting to use towards battles or to improve us emotionally. It is not appropriate to criticize the other parent or attempt to separate him from his children.
There should be together a long time, as this could fuel the hope that the parents back together. No holidays or special occasions, if the parents are divorced, they are always, even if it means that the child has to celebrate the birthday twice.