Creating a Better Life

The Worst Kept Secret of Success

One of worst kept secrets of success is the power of focus.

We live in a society that loves to distract us. You no longer have to wait for a commercial to find out what’s on next on the television - an announcement of the next big show will pop up on the bottom of the screen, complete with animation to be sure that you’ve noticed it. Where I live, it can sometimes be a struggle just to get into the grocery store without someone wanting to talk to you about impeaching one of our political leaders or lending a hand to people who are down and out. With cell phones, PDA’s, instant messaging, and all of the other tools of communication that we’ve come up with, people can interrupt you on a whim.

If you want to be successful, you’ll need to learn to stay focused. It isn’t really very difficult, but you may need to make some changes to your thinking and behavior in order to achieve it. Here are some suggestions:

Learn to Accept Distractions

Not accept as in allow them all in - accept as in “it is what it is.” People are going to distract you, and it just becomes even more of a distraction when it gets under your skin. When you allow your own emotions to become more of a distraction than the 30 second cell phone call, your productivity can take a real hit. When something does show up while you are focused on something else, make the decision immediately to defer it until later or to completely forget about it.

Turn Off Your Phone, Email, and Instant Messaging

Simply because someone wants to communicate with you, you are under no obligation to reciprocate. I’m not talking about complete isolation here, but when you are working on a project that demands your attention, the last thing you need are ringing phones and flashing windows on your computer distracting you. Voicemail works just fine for many communications, and your email isn’t going anywhere (no matter how much you want it to!). Just be sure that you take the time to stay on top of these things, or the tug of “What’s in there now?” can become a distraction in and of itself.

Stop Multitasking

If you consider the millions of pieces of information that are flowing into our minds every day, and the fact that our conscious minds are only able to focus on one thing at a time, it’s pretty amazing that we are able to focus on anything at all.

Our conscious minds can only focus on one thing at a time. It may seem like some people can do multiple tasks at once, but what they are really doing is one of two things - they are either “fast-switching” between tasks, which gives the appearance doing more than one thing at a time, or they are using the power of habit with one of the tasks, and therefore not consciously focusing on it at all.

If you think about a computer, it can sometimes seems like your PC can do multiple things at once (playing an MP3, displaying a Word document, receiving an email)… but unless it has more than one processing chip (the computer’s brain), it really isn’t - it’s just switching back and forth between doing one thing at a time rapidly.

It’s the same with us. Our conscious minds can only do one thing at a time, and every time you try to focus on more than that one thing, you lose a little bit of your power of focus. Decide what you want to be focused upon, and do only that.

Use Specific Times for Planning and Reflection

One of the things that has helped me immensely when my own brain gets “scattered and splattered” is pausing for a moment and saying to myself “Where am I Now? What am I working on Now?” Many times, my brain has veered off into the realm of the past (regret about what happened yesterday), or the future (worry about what might happen tomorrow.) Those two little bugaboos can kill your today. There’s productive reflection and goal setting, and then there’s regret and worry. Make your reflection and planning distinct activities, and you’ll know that when they pop up in the middle of preparing that report for work, you can remind yourself that now is not the time.

Live in Day Tight Compartments

This one comes from a couple of different sources, and is related to the previous suggestion. One of the first things people recovering from addictions are taught is the benefit of living “One Day At A Time.” The “Living in Day Tight Compartments” wording comes from “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” by Dale Carnegie.

While the ideal is to live Right Now, as human beings the current Right Now is flowing into the next Right Now, and the next Right Now, and the next Right Now. The Now is not something you can hold on to. When you decide to live in day tight compartments, it goes a long way toward eliminating much of those distractions that can pop up in your own head that were mentioned earlier.

Keep a List

Do your best to always have an easy way of recording your thoughts as they pop into your head. When I’m working at the computer, my personal favorite is Google Desktop’s Scratch Pad Gadget, while away from it a small notebook and a pen and paper do a great job. While you are doing what you are doing Now, and things pop into your head, jot them down. This has the benefit of telling your brain “I’ve got it, you don’t have to worry about this right now.” Then, get back to what you are working on.

Practice Focusing

One of the biggest benefits I’ve experienced since I started meditating is an increased ability to focus. Fifteen minutes of meditation seems to add two hours to my day, which isn’t a bad return on investment. Those extra hours come from the increase in focus that meditation gives me. Learning to watch your own breath, and the practice of gently bringing your mind back to that breath when it wanders, does wonders for your ability to concentrate the rest of the day.

What do you do that helps you to focus? I’d love to hear your own suggestions. Be sure to leave them in the comments section so that all of us can benefit.

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Seven Steps to Stopping Personal Development Overwhelm

How many different types of personal development programs are you “working on?”

If you were to ask me that at various times in my life, I could have told you that I was working my way through the 12 Steps, completing a Simpleology course, trying to keep up with all of the material available through the Wealth Beyond Reason program, doing the exercises in Ask and It Is Given, going through Rebecca Fine’s Science of Getting Rich for Practical Geniuses Course, trying to integrate the principles from Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude, working through the Master Key System, slowly increasing the time spent in meditation, as well as having at least 3 or 4 paper books and ebooks going.

And never mind the personal development blogs, podcasts, and videos that needed to get squeezed in there.

My Brain’s Locking Up!

If you run a Windows based computer, what happens when you have too many windows open with programs running?

Your computer will start running really really (really) slowly. It takes longer and longer (and longer) to accomplish the simplest task.

And if you REALLY have too many going, the computer will finally say “Well, that’s IT!”, and it’ll freeze up on you.

Your brain works the same way. Every time you pick up a book, start a course, download a podcast… you’ve got a new window open in your brain.

A little bit more of your mental resources are being used. Whether you consciously recognize it or not, you’ve got another of what David Allen of GTD fame refers to as “open loops” - stuff that’s taking your attention.

If you aren’t making progress, could it be because you’ve simply got too much going on between your ears?

And if so, how do you deal with it?

Here’s what I’ve done when I realize that I’m doing a lot but getting nowhere when it comes to personal development:

First - do an inventory of all of the courses, books, lectures, etc that you currently haven’t completed.

You’ve got to know what you are dealing with. It’s not necessary for it to be perfect, but you should have a good idea. When things that you forgot about pop up in the future, they are automatically going to go into a “maybe later” file anyway, but we want to have as much choice as possible at the moment.

Second - select a program/discipline/book/seminar that you think will be the most beneficial to you.

What would have the most impact on your life, and bring you closer to reaching your goals? Is there an addiction you need to get rid of? A specific skill you need to learn? Do you want to deepen your relationship with your god? It’s really important to select something for you, not for your parents, your spouse, your children, your boss, or anyone else. Since we don’t live in a vacuum, of course people close to you will be considered… but this is about your life.

Third - take all of those other programs and put them to the side.

Consciously say to yourself “There is value in these [you wouldn't have signed on for them in the first place if you didn't think so], but I’m working on something else right now. They aren’t going anywhere, and I can pick them up again later.”

Fourth - focus exclusively on completing your selected program, developing that skill, or integrating the habit that you’ve chosen.

I did this with AA. For a long time, it was all about the 12-Steps and going to meetings. I didn’t go out of my way to avoid other truths, but my focus was on staying sober, and only on staying sober. My mantra was “If I didn’t drink, it was a good day.” And there were some really bad days in there. While “it’s a good day if I don’t drink” isn’t true 3 years into sobriety, it sure is when you’re in your first 30 days.

Fifth - when you are tempted to pick another ebook, program, seminar, whatever, remind yourself of your decision.

Work the current program you are working! And do not walk away from it until it’s finished, or until it’s integrated into your life in such a way that you feel that you are ready to move one (see the next step for the only exception). If you’ve done what you planned on doing for the day, go ahead and do whatever you feel like - but don’t start another 16 week course, no matter how much the marketing tells you that it’s going to change your life! That may well be true, but it will still be there when you finish the one you are on.

Sixth - while I’m not a proponent of giving up, sometimes it is smarter to stop beating our heads against a wall and move a little to the left where there’s a door.

But be careful with this one… just because you didn’t get the results you wanted in a week doesn’t mean that what you are trying to do isn’t working. Really consider your decision by meditating on it or bouncing it off of someone else - you may just need more time with it.

Seventh - when you have gotten what you can from your current program, only then is it time to move on to another.

Close the window on it. Take what you’ve learned and keep it integrated into your day (such as with Simpleology’s Daily Target Praxis). Then start your next course, book, or whatever it is that’s going to bring you closer to your goals in life. You’ll be able to focus on it with much more ease and enthusiasm than if you’d just dropped that previous one.

Personal development can be both fun and frustrating at the same time. By keeping your focus on a single area, you will experience such tremendous growth there it will spill over into other areas of your life… and you may find that you are no longer as interested in that latest book or ecourse that you just had to buy.

[full disclosure: the above article contains affiliate links]

Eliminate Distractions (and Save Your Marriage) While Working from Home

[Buy at AllPosters.com]

Working from home is sweet. Not that I”m doing it full time (yet), but I’ve started to have a little taste of not being so dependant on my J.O.B. (Just Over Broke) - and man it tastes good.

I’m also in a very good position to be doing this - no kids in the house, fairly quiet neighborhood, and my best friend and lover both live with me and support me in it.

Thank god my best friend and lover just happen to be the same person, because we live in a very small apartment - 4 rooms. Kitchen, Living Room, Bedroom, and Bathroom.

No place for an office (yet). My home office is in a corner of the living room, right next to the door to the kitchen.

So while there are no distractions from kids, my wife (who also spends much of her time here) and I can end up on top of each other quite frequently. While that can be fun ;), if I’m in the middle of a writing session, it’s just too easy for her to call out from the bedroom “Hey, did you hear about this on CNN?” or “Have you paid the gas bill?”.

And of course, there’s always the dreaded “Watcha doin’?” when she needs to get something from the kitchen.

Since we are in the middle of transitioning into this new lifestyle, old habits do die hard. When my writing and web work were strictly hobbies, these weren’t a problem. Now that they beginning to produce an income (I haven’t heard “Why Don’t You Think and Get a Job” in a while), we’ve had to come up with some guidlines.

Enter the Red Cup

We needed a signal - some way to tell her that “I’m working… please don’t bother me right now.” I couldn’t just tell her “Busy” without sounding short, and I couldn’t acknowledge her entrances or questions without completely losing my train of thought.

When I’m sitting on the floor in the Burmese position with my eyes closed, it’s a pretty good bet that I’m meditating and that I’d prefer that she didn’t disturb me. Sitting at the computer and typing could be anything - I could be working on the Great American Novel, or I could be dashing off an email to my mom.

It was in one of the David Allen podcasts that I first heard the idea of using a signal to show people that one is not to be disturbed. If memory serves, the example given was of an open office in Japan - since the floor plan in the office they were discussing was so wide open, there was no way to really say “Don’t Bother Me” by closing a door or putting up a sign. So they used a red sash - if the person had on the sash, you didn’t bother them.

My wife and I decided to use a red cup, set on top of the computer monitor. The color and height made it noticeable, and it’s easy enough to put up and take down when I’m starting or stopping work. Anything can be used - put on a baseball cap, put up a flag - it really doesn’t matter, as long as the people who live with you understand and respect that when the signal is up, you aren’t to be disturbed, unless someone’s going to die if you aren’t.

To eliminate audible distractions, a set of headphones with whatever music I’m currently in the mood for does the trick. I prefer instrumental stuff (either Baroque or Jazz) simply because that way lyrics that I’m not paying attention to aren’t being planted in my head.

So far it’s working well… I do take the cup down when I’m not working, and she has yet to say word one to me while it’s up.

Mutual respect is a beautiful thing!

If you have any other tips for work at home newbies in small environments, please feel free to leave them in the comments section.

Get More Done by Doing Nothing

I’ve been asked by Ellesse of Goal Setting College to participate in a group writing project started by Ben of Instigator Blog: What’s Your Top Productivity Tip?

Mine is Doing Nothing.

At least that’s how it would appear to my culture’s go go go do it now get it done yesterday attitude.

Of course, we can never really do nothing (which I learned from Simpleology 101), and this is no exception.

I’m talking about the practice of insight meditation, also known as Vipassana.

The technical, Buddhist “religious” reason for practicing insight meditation is to free oneself from suffering and to achieve enlightenment, but when I first read about this project, I immediately made a connection and realized that meditation offers many productivity benefits as well.

The bottom line in this practice is learning to experience what is going on now.

Not yesterday, not tomorrow, but now.

Not 30 minutes ago, not later today, but now.

For this project, I think it’s more appropriate to write about why I practice, rather than how to practice. While I’ve dipped my toe in various forms of meditation for years, it’s only been over the last few months that I’ve made a sustained effort to incorporate this into my daily life.

I’m far from qualified to teach it.

People have been practicing insight meditation for thousands of years, and there are over a million resources related to it on the web. My personal favorite resource for meditation and mindfulness instruction is The Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA. (I’ve only visited them virtually, but I hope to one day check them out in person.)

So anyway… why do it, and how does it relate to productivity?

• Serenity - You could also call this relaxation and/or stress reduction, but because of my roots in recovery, serenity is the best way I can describe it. Things just don’t seem to bother me like they used to, and I’m able to pull myself back from going over the edge in my head when something happens that I think is going to be a disaster. When I don’t have fear and anger running around in my head, I am less distracted and have more energy, and am able to put out fires that need to be put out, or let them burn and be OK with that.
• Improved Concentration - When one sits for 15 or 20 minutes a day, focusing on the breath and watching the thoughts that come and go, the mind is getting practice at doing just one thing at a time. As distractions come up, I’m constantly telling myself “Back to the breath, back to the breath”, and this spills over into my daily activities. It reminds me to say “Back to the customer” or “Back to the writing” when a thought like “wow, a cigarette would be outstanding right now” pops into my head.
• Improved Memory - When I was complaining to my last sponsor in AA that I could never remember anyone’s name at the meetings and blaming it on brain damage from the alcohol and drugs, he told me that it was because I was too selfish to pay attention to anyone but myself. And he was right. I was so concerned about my own petty problems that I wouldn’t take the time to think about anyone else. It may sound like a paradox, but by spending a little time each day focusing on what’s going on with myself right now, the distractions of my own thoughts have lessened, so I can now pay attention to what’s going on around me, and therefore actually remember some of it.
• The Ability to Accept People, Including Myself - After watching my own thoughts and just accepting them as they are, it’s made me realize that, on a fundamental level, others are just looking for the same thing that I am: happiness. We all just have some goofy ways of trying to find it. I don’t have to like, or condone, or even allow some of the things people (including myself) do or try to do, but I can accept them as being what they are in the moment. Once again, this lessens the distraction of worrying about what others are doing, and allows me to focus on my own stuff.

Do you have a top productivity tip to share? If you do, feel free to join in the project. If you aren’t a blogger, I’d love to hear your tip in the comments.