Creating a Better Life

What Would You Do With An Extra 36 Hours?

About a week ago, Edward Mills of Evolving Times asked his readers and fellow bloggers what they would do with an extra 36 hours a week?

Edward came up with the question based on the blogtastic book The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss. I haven’t read the book yet, but I call it blogtastic because of the way that it took the blogosphere by storm and fundamentally changed the way that many of us go about their daily tasks. I credit Andy Wibbels’ interview with Tim when the book first came out with my attitude of “Just because it comes in electronically doesn’t mean I have to respond right now”, which has provided both a major boost to my own productivity, as well as an ability to really focus on the people that I respond to with the thoughtfulness that they deserve.

To tell the truth I really don’t want to add yet another book to my ever growing reading list at the moment. But from what I’ve gleaned from all of the information about it, both on Ferriss’ web site and from all of the blogs that have written about it, the book is about achieving one basic thing: time freedom.

For the sake of this article, I’m going to take the idea at face value. If I only had to spend four hours a week at my day job, how would I spend the other 36?

I’d Write More

This one was a no brainer… but maybe “more” doesn’t really cover it. I’d also write different stuff, on other topics that I enjoy and in other forms. Most of my writing takes the form of personal development blogging nowadays, and I’d like to branch out.

I’d Spend More Quality Time With My Wife

Another no brainer. But the important word here is quality. Not just being under the same roof while I write and blog and build and she does her thing, but doing things together, both in the house (woo-hoo!) and outside.

I’d Improve My Web Development Skills

While I’m no slouch at the basics of application development, I’d really like to take the time to refine my PHP, MySQL, and Javascript skills to the point where every time I wanted to do something a little different, I didn’t have to search Google for someone else’s code to learn from. It’s great to learn by example, but if I could really take the time to learn a language’s syntax and concepts, I know that it would cut much of the time I spend developing in half.

I’d Visit My Family More

My mom, brother, soon to be sister-in-law, and step-dad are all on the east coast, and I’m on the west. It’s been way too long since I’ve been out there. Way way way too long…

I’d Get Involved in Local Groups That Promote Self Improvement and Personal Growth

One of the thing that I love about the web is the time shifting - I can participate in a discussion on a forum or blog without it having to be done at any set time. But I’d like to get involved in local groups again (like a Religious Science church, or maybe Toastmasters) where I can meet with like minded people. My current job, because of it’s shifting schedule, doesn’t allow me to do that with any consistency.

Hmmm… after writing out that list, maybe I do want to pick up a copy of the book!

Thanks for including me in this, Edward!

And now, what would you do if you had that extra 36 hours? Feel free to leave your ideas in the comments below. If you’ve got a blog, write up a post and link it back to the original post on Evolving Times, so that Ed can include your article when he compiles his list of participants.

Eliminate Distractions (and Save Your Marriage) While Working from Home

[Buy at AllPosters.com]

Working from home is sweet. Not that I”m doing it full time (yet), but I’ve started to have a little taste of not being so dependant on my J.O.B. (Just Over Broke) - and man it tastes good.

I’m also in a very good position to be doing this - no kids in the house, fairly quiet neighborhood, and my best friend and lover both live with me and support me in it.

Thank god my best friend and lover just happen to be the same person, because we live in a very small apartment - 4 rooms. Kitchen, Living Room, Bedroom, and Bathroom.

No place for an office (yet). My home office is in a corner of the living room, right next to the door to the kitchen.

So while there are no distractions from kids, my wife (who also spends much of her time here) and I can end up on top of each other quite frequently. While that can be fun ;), if I’m in the middle of a writing session, it’s just too easy for her to call out from the bedroom “Hey, did you hear about this on CNN?” or “Have you paid the gas bill?”.

And of course, there’s always the dreaded “Watcha doin’?” when she needs to get something from the kitchen.

Since we are in the middle of transitioning into this new lifestyle, old habits do die hard. When my writing and web work were strictly hobbies, these weren’t a problem. Now that they beginning to produce an income (I haven’t heard “Why Don’t You Think and Get a Job” in a while), we’ve had to come up with some guidlines.

Enter the Red Cup

We needed a signal - some way to tell her that “I’m working… please don’t bother me right now.” I couldn’t just tell her “Busy” without sounding short, and I couldn’t acknowledge her entrances or questions without completely losing my train of thought.

When I’m sitting on the floor in the Burmese position with my eyes closed, it’s a pretty good bet that I’m meditating and that I’d prefer that she didn’t disturb me. Sitting at the computer and typing could be anything - I could be working on the Great American Novel, or I could be dashing off an email to my mom.

It was in one of the David Allen podcasts that I first heard the idea of using a signal to show people that one is not to be disturbed. If memory serves, the example given was of an open office in Japan - since the floor plan in the office they were discussing was so wide open, there was no way to really say “Don’t Bother Me” by closing a door or putting up a sign. So they used a red sash - if the person had on the sash, you didn’t bother them.

My wife and I decided to use a red cup, set on top of the computer monitor. The color and height made it noticeable, and it’s easy enough to put up and take down when I’m starting or stopping work. Anything can be used - put on a baseball cap, put up a flag - it really doesn’t matter, as long as the people who live with you understand and respect that when the signal is up, you aren’t to be disturbed, unless someone’s going to die if you aren’t.

To eliminate audible distractions, a set of headphones with whatever music I’m currently in the mood for does the trick. I prefer instrumental stuff (either Baroque or Jazz) simply because that way lyrics that I’m not paying attention to aren’t being planted in my head.

So far it’s working well… I do take the cup down when I’m not working, and she has yet to say word one to me while it’s up.

Mutual respect is a beautiful thing!

If you have any other tips for work at home newbies in small environments, please feel free to leave them in the comments section.

How To Quit Quitting

If there’s anyone who knows how to quit, it’s me.

I quit when I was afraid that my musical ability wasn’t good enough, and decided to drop it and go to work full time for a large pizza delivery chain instead.

I quit when I was promoted to a store manager for that delivery chain, and opted to step down and be a driver again.

I quit when, after joining the Navy, I got myself kicked out by developing a drinking problem.

I quit quitting drinking within my first 30 days of trying.

I quit every job I had in the 90’s (and most of the beginning of the 00’s), using the alcoholism and depression as my reasons.

I started blogging in early 2000 (I think), and quit on every blog I ever started (except for recently).

I think I’ve got the quitting thing down!

Since then, I’ve learned how to keep going despite mistakes.

We Don’t Have To Be Perfect

Each of the quits I mentioned above were because of one single thing.

I couldn’t do any of them “perfectly.”

• I wasn’t the perfect musician, so I just stopped playing.
• I wasn’t the perfect manager, so I decided to be a delivery person instead.
• I wasn’t the perfect sailor, so I got myself out of that one.
• I was never perfect at any of my jobs, so I just stopped showing up for them.

What About Now?

The majority of my income comes from my work as a flooring salesman for one of the big national home improvement chains.

Most days, I make mistakes on my job.

Some days, I make HUGE mistakes.

I’ve been with them for nearly two years now… and I haven’t quit yet.

My real love is writing and blogging, especially about personal development. I’m even starting to earn a small income from it.

Every day, I make mistakes on this (and other) blogs.

Some days, I make HUGE mistakes.

But I’m still working on it after about a year and a half.

Why?

Because I’ve realized that I don’t, and my work doesn’t, have to be perfect.

Other’s Ideas of Perfection

When I use the word “perfect”, I’m using it in the sense of other people’s opinions of things.

Many of us get so caught up another’s idea of perfection that we paralyze ourselves and will stop doing those things that we love to do, or stop reaching for those goals that we want to achieve, simply because of what other people think.

Of course, there are people whose opinions we value. If you’re an employee, and you honestly don’t care what your boss thinks of your performance, you may have a little problem when review time comes around. If you’re a married male, and you honestly don’t care what your wife thinks of you, why not go ahead and tell her every time you think another woman is hot?

There are exceptions, but for most of us, we do have people in our lives whose opinion we value.

The problem lies in valuing their judgment of us more than our own.

Imaginary Judgement

Here’s another example from my own life:

Whenever I got a new job during what I like to call my “crazy years” (the 90’s and the first half of 00’s), I would get so torn up about what my new employers thought of me and my performance that I’d simply stop showing up. Whether it was a job as a network administrator or as a bra and pantie packager (yup, I did that), the slightest mistake, the smallest bad evaluation would send me into a tailspin.

Even worse was when I was told that I was doing a good job, because then I thought I was a fraud.

I’d read and pray and meditate and affirm my goodness, but none of that mattered.

Most of it was only in my head, but I was allowing what was in my head to destroy me. I realize that I’m an extreme example here, but I know of others who have gone through the same thing, and also know that most people experience these kind of feelings to a lesser degree.

So what can we do about it?

My Solution

While I couldn’t let go of the idea that other people’s opinions of me did matter to a degree, I had to pull it back to the point of realizing these things:

• If they don’t say anything to me directly, it can’t matter all that much. Unless they flat out come out and tell me “You Suck!”, I’m not going to assume that I suck anymore.
• If they do come out and say “You Suck”, then that’s more about them than it is about me. It’s about their own evaluation in the moment it’s made. If it’s not someone whose opinion I value, Oh Well! Thanks for sharing! If it is, then I’d like to dig a little further.
• I’d like to get to the bottom of why they think I suck. If I truly value their opinion, I’ll get into a dialog with them: How important is it that I change? Just what is it that I should change? What are the benefits to changing?
• After discussing, evaluate for yourself. With the boss, is this a deal-breaker when it comes to the job? If so, weigh not having that particular job against doing what she or he wants. With the wife, is the marriage in trouble? Evaluate that honestly.
• Then make the change or don’t make the change. Bottom line, it’s up to you. But be prepared to live with the consequences.

It Aint’ Easy

This has all taken practice, and I keep having to practice it each day (especially the boss one). But it is getting better, and I’m realizing that a lot of the time, no matter what others say or do, I can remain happy and focused, and continue to move in the direction of my goals.

When I do quit something, it’s almost never because of fear (I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to never). Now it’s because I’ve done a real evaluation of it, and decided that it’s just not a valuable part of me creating a better life.

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[This post was included in the Blog Community Bloggers Carnival on Thoughts and Philosophies.]

Burning Bridges

I started (re)reading Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich last night.

In the chapter on Desire, the author tells a story about a warrior who, after sailing to an island to conquer it and offloading his men from the boats, had the boats burned so that their only two options were win or die.

In the past, I interpreted that as “quit your job NOW and do what you love to do.”

Bad interpretation. Very bad interpretation.

I was burning my boats while I was still on them!

It’s very important that, in our drive for success, we stay centered, and use common sense.

My current job is my major source of funding for my dreams at the moment. I will not cut off one of the channels that God has opened for me. I’ll know when it’s time for it to close.

Just a little bit of experience from someone who, in the past, set the fires too soon.

Notes from the Universe

One of the only mailing lists I’ve stayed on consistently is TUT’s Notes from the Universe. Today’s really struck me, since I’ve been doing so much thinking and talking about hating my day job:

Treating “any old job” as if it were your dream job, Lyman, is the fastest way to spark the kind of life changes that will yield your dream job.

Same for any old house, friend, day, life… or pair of espadrilles.

Yeah,
The Universe

Pretty much tells me what I need to be doing.

It also reminded me of what Jesus said about “to him who has much, more will be given.” I think that this is what he was talking about. What we focus on, expands. When I focus on the positive, more positive comes my way. When I focus on the negative, I get more of that.

Or something like that.